Buzzkill Blogspot

The American Dream

2006-04-12T11:33:00.000-07:00

sniff sniff...

Staying indoors, sitting on the couch, watching Oprah and eating chips…it truly is the American dream.....

Take the Joke Back (Mountain)

2006-02-16T12:57:00.000-08:00

It's been 6 months since my last post. Is it physical and mental laziness that has caused the pause? Roger that. But in addition, nothing has really annoyed me much recently. Ahh...love...

But now I'm pissed.

Seriously, people...the word "brokeback" does not a funny joke make!

Y0da out.

Stickin' it to the man.

2005-06-29T14:26:00.000-07:00

I love nothing more than creative and legal acts of "stickin' it to the man."

This guy has got the right idea. And gosh darn it if he didn't actually find "the man." I've been looking for that mofo for a loooonnng time.

Don't Panic.

2005-04-20T16:38:00.000-07:00

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is good...really really good. This fact has left me with feelings mixed. Uh oh, I'm starting to panic. You see, if it's good people will see it. And I gotta be honest, I enjoyed that self-righteous feeling of being one of the minority of people in the world who understood what a babelfish was, or why the number 42 was significant. The inside joke will be released on the world!! Oh well...I guess that's cool.

Anyways, the movie was really well done, and I felt gratified leaving the theater because what I had imagined in my head while reading the book was almost exactly what was placed on film. Which is rarely the case. Kudos Hammer and Tongs.

Holy Good God Heroin Must Be Some Good Shit.

2005-03-30T12:49:00.000-08:00

It has been reported to me that heroin sucks.

Last night I briefly watched a documentary called Dope Sick Love on HBO about two strung out couples living in New York. Actually, they were living more around New York. When I turned it on, I was treated to the sight of two people, appearing years beyond their age, crying because the needle they were repeatedly jamming into their arm was bent, and wouldn't hit a vein. When I said 'briefly' earlier, I meant it.

Today I hear that my favorite stand-up comedian, Mitch Hedberg, OD'd last night and has since passed on.

Only about two years ago Mitch was arrested with a gang of H on him at an airport. While he was being arrested the cops realized his leg had become gangrenous from a needle inlficted wound. Had it not been for his father's second opinion, and masterful surgical work, he would have lost it. Don't believe me? There's a not-so vague reference to this issue on his soon-after released album Mitch All Together. Get it? (if not, see joke below)

Now, I dont know about you, but being a breath away from losing my f'ing LEG would scare me straight of just about anything.

Apparently it really is that good. I think I'll wait till I'm 90 or so before I show up to the H party.

You can peep Mitch's work in a teeny roll in the movie Almost Famous or in reruns of That 70's Show, but I would highly recommend getting his CDs.

Here are some classic Mitch jokes, even though his inflection and delivery was half the fun:

"I bought a donut, and the guy gave me a receipt for the donut. I don't need a receipt for a donut. I give you the money, you give me the donut. End of transaction. I just cannot imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a donut. Some skeptical friend. 'Hey man, don't even act like I didn't get that donut. I got the documentation right here... Oh wait it's at home in the file. Under D.'"

"Y'know they call corn on the cob, corn on the cob, right but that's how it comes out of the ground man they should call that corn. They should call every other version corn off the cob. It's not like if you cut off my arm, you would call my arm 'Mitch.' But the reattach it and call it 'Mitch altogether.' "

Mitch, you shall be missed.

~buzzzzzz

An open salute, to President Bush

2005-03-23T15:27:00.000-08:00

I salute you, Mr. President, for caring so greatly for mankind. You have such respect for the children of God throughout the world that you take time out of your busy day to stand up for the rights of all God's children. Whether that person is a white woman with all the senses and thoughts of a carrot who once requested she die with dignity, or a million healthy African civilians being slaughtered everyday, you are standing up and giving each and every one of them the time and energy they deserve. You are forcing your heavy hand to make the absurd mandates to get things accomplished for all of the innocent children, regardless of party lines and politics.

Because if you didn't, who would?

In 1994, chances are I was stoned.

2005-02-25T17:03:00.000-08:00

At the same time, millions of people were being killed in Rwanda.

See Hotel Rwanda, feel like an a-hole like me, and then take a little action to save the people of Darfur.

Do it before the Oscars so you can sound really cool at your awesome Oscar party.

Or becuase you have a soul.

It's time for your favorite game, and mine: Spot the Bizarro Celebrity!!

2005-01-21T01:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, ever since it popped up online, the new video for 'Galvanize' by the Chemical Bros. feat. Q-tip, has been a large part of my morning wake-up routine.

I don't know...something about the youth rising up and straight frontin' clown steez makes me happy, and ready for my day of office tedium.

Anyhow...I've seen it a lot. And I've picked out two bizzaro celebs in the video, that for a second I was SURE were the real deal.

Who do YOU think they are?

Hint - One is a famous boy-band star, and the other is a fictional Jersey boy, like me.

Great Googly Boogly that's offensive.

2005-01-20T13:45:00.000-08:00

Luckily....it's also HE-larious.

Scroll down for some uber-offensive Volkswagon goodness.

P.S. - I will find him.

2005-01-19T10:14:00.000-08:00

Some might say that there are folks out there with too much time on their hands.

I say, they dont have enough...

Clicking through is fun, and easy!

Confused? Here's an explanation by someone who ALSO has a lot of spare time on their hands.

I have too much time on my hands. :(

(The) Arcade Fire

2005-01-18T17:19:00.000-08:00

I know I'm not the first person on the scene to talk about the Arcade Fire (see: here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here) but I AM the coolest (see: here).

I pre-ordered their record the moment I heard 'Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)' after hearing Mr. Stereogum tout the new tune. And I gotta tell ya...the thing had hooks. It grabbed me and has yet to let go.

The buzz on that record was so great, and they gained a repuation for such a great live show that they sold out their national tour almost immediately, with tickets popping up on Ebay on the daily. So, when I saw them play this past Sunday at the Troubadour in L.A., I wasn't too surprised when I couldn't find my socks when the show was over. What did surprise me was their opening act, Owen Pallett, a solo violin player/singer. Some plucking, some bow-work(?) some singing, and some extremely fancy footwork on the pedal board turned this little diminuitive guy into a one-man band of etherial, awesome violin power.

Anyhow, back to the purpose of this post: the degree to which I am cool.

My associate and I had shown up to the show WAY too early, especially since we preferred jockying for a position at the bar than at the front of the crowd (shut it, there's a better view). So, to kill some time and feed our bellies we made our way to a nearby Indian place I used to frequent(ly call for delivery when I used to live in h'wood and smoke herbuals). We're halfway through our delicious meal when who comes through the door and sits next to us, but the Arcade Fire. The whole lot of them. Plus, what I can only assume was some annoying Hollywood manager/agent/publicist/advantage taker, given the nature of the conversation: "if you want to be the next big band and sell millions of records you have to do exactly what I say, because I know all, as you can see, because I currently reside in, that's right, Hollywood." Maybe conversation isn't the right word...maybe "talking to" is more appropriate. Anyhow, my associate and I were clearly having a much better time than they were. Maybe it was my constant creepy stare, but I swear the lead violin player kept looking my way, thinking either: "I wish I was over at that table where fun abounds" or "why wont that creep stop looking at me?" I tend to think it was the former, while my associate the latter. Either way, I was elated.

All in all, the opening acts were great, and the Arcade Fire put on such an energy-filled tight set that I considered hiding in the Troubadour's rafters for the late show. What an amazing group of musicians. One may have closely resembled Napolean Dynamite, and the lead might have reminded me of a cross between Jack White after a 3-day coke bender and (oh boy...this is embarrassing) me in high school but I've never seen such a talented group of musicians(to be fair, they did announce that they were sick at the start of the show). They switched instruments so often that I almost felt compelled to yell "ROTATE" ala HS gym volleyball, after each song. And damn it if they didn't kill it with their encore, Wake Up.

Take a look/listen to their in-studio performance. It's low-key, and not a good example of their live show, but it's still darn good.

EDIT - Here's some good video from a live performance.

I knew I wasn't crazy....

2005-01-10T20:45:00.000-08:00

There's a good chance that you've never heard of it before, but I just found out that the greatest sitcoms of the 80s (and possibly of all time) in finally available on DVD. Now, I know how that sounded, but I am well aware I have few cool bones in my body, so relax, I'm talking about a television sitcom here.

Every time I've brought it up in conversation, people have always looked at my like a fool.....well here's proof I'm not all crazy.

Sledge Hammer was only around for 2 seasons back in the late 80s but it will always hold a special place in my heart. I can't wait to plow through the next 210 films in my Netflix queue so I can finally re-enjoy Mr. Hammer.

Of course...I was about 10 years old the last time I saw an episode. Boy, I could be in for a serious let down.

See, that's all it takes....

2005-01-10T11:43:00.000-08:00

One person asking me to keep this bad-boy going is all the inspiration I need, folks.

Next time, let's make it a non-family member, though, ok? It would do wonders for my self-esteem.

And now, it's excuse time. Here are the reasons why I have not written in over a month:

Social Life. - that's right, folks. Sometimes social lives are nice. Recently, mine has been interesting. Which doesn't always equal nice. Thanks, ladies, for keeping me on my toes. It's appreciateD (see: sarcasm).

Work - While I usually enjoy sneaking in a bunch o' bloggin' at work, I have been really busy recently. Would love to talk all about it...but then I'd be risking getting added to this list. And I'm not going to allow that to happen. I've got a biz-trip to Orlando to look forward to at the end of the month....

Family - Half of the this past month has been spent in warm & sunny NJ, visiting my family, not giving an f about this blog, or your entertainment.

I'll be back later today with so much awesomeness, your socks won't know what hit them.

(Disclaimer: I'm a liar.)

Poor Ken Kurson....

2004-12-08T17:26:00.000-08:00

I ask you: is intolerance to an intolerant group of people, in fact, intolerant?

I was listening to This American Life today (I'm kind of addicted) when an interesting story told by, and about, a NJ Republican assembly canidate from my hometown of Montclair, NJ, aired. It originally aired a few months ago, but this was the first I had heard of it.

The basic gist of the story is that during his campaign in the town of Montclair, Ken Kurson experienced extreme nastiness from the mainly liberal residents in the form of mean language and torn pamphlets. He complains that the intolerance of the people in the town, and their "hypocritical" actions and words, forced he and his family to move out.

In my opinion, when you stand up for a party comprised of religious intolerants and bigots in a town like Montclair, like a lightning rod in a thunder storm you should expect to be stuck.

I believe that there is a story to be told here, but I believe that story is a true-story comparison between the way in which a disagreement of issues in Montclair manifested itself in heated debate and non-violent protest, compared with how many disagreements in many other parts of the country pan out (see:Cynthia McKinney) .

Anyhow, the story struck a major chord with me, simply because a) my mother was probably the one that drove him out of town, b) after a quick Google search for his name and my hometown's name, I inadvertantly found out he lives (or lived) less than a block from where I grew up and where my parents still live, and c) it raised the anticipation I feel for my trip back home for the holidays - to that beautiful town filled with multi-racial liberal nutjobs, whom I love so much.

Montclair is a politically active and vocal community filled with forward thinking people. If you are hated there...you might want to turn your astonished gaze inward.

Was not Was.....Noah?!?

2004-12-06T14:01:00.000-08:00

Hey everybody! There's a new "museum" going up in Kentucky. Boy. I love museums!

Well at the new creation museum you'll learn all about how Moses rode dinosaurs all over the place, and that the burning bush was actually lit by the fire that spewed from the throat of pesky dinosaur!

Just one caveat....you have to believe that "the scientific aspects of creation are important, but are secondary in importance to the proclamation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ as Sovereign, Creator, Redeemer and Judge." Hmm...that seems rather backwards to me. Shouldn't we stick to the proveable theories first?

Wait a sec, I thought that dinosaurs died some 65 million years ago, and we didn't see the beginnings of man until about 5 million years ago!

Uh oh...I'm beginning to question my faith!

While I'm beginning to feel less certain about the importance of this museum, I do know that this website does definitively answer one burning question that's on everyone's mind: "Are black people the result of a curse on Ham?" Seriously...inquiring minds NEED to know.

As Naughty by Nature, so eloquently put it...it's not a shame it's a problem.

You sir, are no John Kennedy.

2004-12-06T13:48:00.000-08:00

As long as this guy continues to write things I can actually understand, I will continue to read what he has to say.

And damn it if his insights aren't spot on.

Keep on keepin' on you globalization understandin' tommy "da FREEZ" Friedman motherf*$#er!

Once again, subscription required. (but it's free) (so subscribe) (dummy)

Thanks be to the Brian.

Big Baby Jesus meets Big Adult Jesus

2004-11-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

That's right, my favorite rapper and yours, Ol' Dirty Bastard passed away this weekend. Mad love and respect goes out to the ol' Dirt McGirt and his friends and family.

He will be missed.

While we bow our heads for a moment of silence, let's keep in mind the important lessons and moments of levity Mr. Russell Jones imparted on a generation.

Falluja

2004-11-14T16:27:00.000-08:00

Before and After

The Anti-Coulter

2004-11-10T17:44:00.000-08:00

Even though her vile, snide comment spewing mouth makes me fill with rage every time it opens, I am oddly attracted to the she-beast that calls itself Ann Coulter. Maybe its because I love women with long legs, and and an even longer neck (seriously, the woman looks like a giraffe with an adam's apple). At least I feel deep down shame when I do, but I periodically scroll through the pictures on her website.

There is one woman in the political world however that I am truly in love with, and I'm not afraid to say it and say it loud: I am in love with Maureen Dowd.

dear faithful reader

2004-11-10T13:57:00.000-08:00

So, yes, I've been stewing for the last week, trying to be very selective about what I read and watch. It's been sobering, sickening and downright depressing knowing that the country I love will be continuing the trend of faith-based rule. It's been sad knowing that the documented principals that our fine nation were founded on are being trampled beneath the feet of a voting majority.

None of the following pieces will help stem any of these feelings, but I found the collection to at least be enlightening and cathartic.

I, like many in the US, consider us to be the one and only super-power. Well, did you know that a few years ago two extremely American companies weren't allowed to merge with one another because of a few Europeans? That's right, the mighty Jack Welch couldn't merge GE with Honeywell because of the EU's anti-trust laws. You may be saying to yourself "wait a minute Mr. Kill, we're America! We can do anything we want! Ain't no frog gonna tell US what we can and cannot do!" Well yes, we have the military might to go blow up anything we want...but when it comes to doing business, it seems there are states becoming more united than our own. As a matter of fact, they are 26 strong, and they are just across the ocean, and they are getting kind of annoyed at us. Take a listen. If only they could have voted in our last election....

If you're just looking for some levity and/or aren't prepared to listen to a 40 minute conversation, you should be able to find some humor in either this little piece of brilliance, or this.

Fix up, look sharp.

2004-11-03T10:05:00.000-08:00

It's the mantra I keep repeating to myself this morning. Thank you Dizzee.

I personally see no different between these people and these people.

And now they completely run the country.

Read the news, go to law school, fix up, look sharp, and let's not let all of America's freedoms slip away from us.

The troof

2004-11-02T14:34:00.000-08:00

So, I finally saw 'Uncovered: The Whole Truth about the war in Iraq' last night on the Sundance Channel. What a powerful, logical, informed, and important film about the path our current? administration took to go to war in Iraq. There was no narrator at all, just a bunch of experts amazingly close to the inner workings of our government and the issues at hand. It is a sobering look at our current administration's shady and shadowy techniques to mis-lead the world into doing its bidding.

In a world where image is everything, where spin and false appearances are more important than might, why would the current administration go out of its way to ruin the image of America in the eye of the world? It just doesn't make any sense. It seems that nothing was held sacred when it came to capping the guy who tried to kill his Daddy.

Well, Uncovered and this piece from Fresh Air especially, featuring a press officer stationed at Centcom during the Iraq war, who was also heavily featured in Control Room, are two of the most refreshingly honest pieces of media I have seen in a while.

Take a gander.

I hate this blog. It will get better after tomorrow I promise. The killing of buzzes will become less severe.

Oh please Yahweh, let John Kerry win.

Seriously...

2004-11-02T09:52:00.000-08:00

how am I supposed to do proper work today?

Since we're on the topic of the fate of the world, lets look at another brilliant piece of work by George W.

Thank goodness for George Bush's foreign policy. I mean, look at what he did with Libya? They are now our friendly neighbors to the east, with representatives in DC. Luckily, they also have representatives in large terrorist circles! Way to go, George! Another one for the Gipper!

Fank you.

2004-10-28T15:23:00.000-07:00

When I was a little kid, my father always enjoyed showing me and my brother his favorite films. One such film was South Pacific.

I remember two things about this movie: A portion of the island was removed in the film - with what was serious Hollywood magic at the time (according to pops) AND the perfomance number, Happy Talk.

What a craptastically weird song, sung in such a weird cadence, and accompanied by the strangest dance of all time.

For years I would mimic the song and dance...and no one ever got the reference. Was it vague, yes? Did I think it was so strange that I had to mimic it, even at the age of 11? Absolutely.

So how pleased was I to hear that Dizzee Rascal was taking it on?

Here's the new video to accompany the single:

Check check it.

It's binoculars.

Thinking is for pussies

2004-10-28T09:44:00.000-07:00

We've all known for a while now that God chose George Bush to be president of the USA. Well, apparently Allah* doesn't like us very much, which is a shame.

Why else would He place a non-thinker who lives in a completely alternate reality in the most important position in the entire world?

Your Captain doesn't know either. But maybe its because rational, thoughtful people have been successfully running organized religion out of business ever since this country, founded on the freedom of religion, began. And now Allah is angry..very very angry.

Here's a frightening look at GW and the environment he's created around himself.

Oh and just for fun, you can prepare for next Tuesday by flexing your voting skills and voting for Eminem's Mosh on TRL. Apparently, us left-wing bloggers CAN make a difference.

*I assume Bush is referring to Allah when he speaks about God

Please, George...

2004-10-27T14:43:00.000-07:00

...tell the world how you TRULY feel about us.

Eminem has an opinion.

2004-10-26T18:48:00.000-07:00

He has tackled such "hot button" topics as Fan Adoration and Drug Abuse, among others. Now, Eminem is finally letting his voice be heard HERE - courtesy of the Guerrilla News Network.

One thing you cant say about Eminem is that he pulls punches. The quality of the animation in this video is only outdone by the message. Enjoy.

~Kill

Our Fear-Inspiring Mis-Leader

2004-10-26T14:25:00.000-07:00

I told a good friend of mine today that: "I truly believe that people who support George Bush in this election are making a judgement error so great that their actions will lead to a reversal of spiritual and civil evolution, and that all of the good that man is capable of might soon be lost forever."

And then I realized that that radical statement that had just escaped my fingertips was true. I really feel that way. I wouldn't have had such a miserable nightmare about GWB winning the election last night if it wasn't.

I sat back and tried to think like a rational person. Could I be under Michael Moore's spell? Have I fallen madly and homoerotically in love with a certain small jew from Comedy Central? What could possibly lead me to feel this way?

Well, I may have come up with part of my answer.

It seems that Americans are extremely easily frightened, and when we become frightened we become like little lemmings, jumping off the cliff of freedom deep into the abyss of ignorance and ego. (yes, I know, the lemmings committing suicide thing is BS, but you know what I mean)

Think of an 11 year-old who gets beat up by his dad, who randomly beats on innocent kids on the schoolyard for looking at him the wrong way. Now replace the 11-year old with George Bush, and the Dad with Osama Bin Laden. Now replace the schoolyard with the world.

Yes, that is just a lengthy breakdown of the very simple 'bully' analogy. Yes, I think you are dumb enough to deserve a full explanation. I mean, the American people have elected GW once already.

A close family member who supports Bush told me that Bush's willingness to use our military SO far outweighs any other issues, that it doesn't matter what else he believes. He's going to support him and vote for him for that reason alone. This tells me one thing: the Bush-Cheney campaign has succeeded in what they set out to do - they have successfully tricked the American public, at any cost. They have scared so many people, so badly, that they are more than willing to follow them into the abyss.

How else do you explain the multitudes of supporters who believe information so egregious.

As of October 21st - 72% of Bush supporters continue to believe that Iraq had actual WMD!

With numbers like that, and with absolutely no one in power doing anything to inform people of the truth. I cannot have any faith in this current administration. I cannot respect its supporters. I will continue to work, rest and sleep - but I shall do so with great fear in my heart for next Tuesday.

(Editors Note - Yes, I realize, I need an editor)

Thomas L. Friedman...

2004-10-05T15:57:00.000-07:00

...is really, really smart.

I gave his book, the Lexus and the Olive Branch, the old college try a few years back. It captivated me into a complete state of stupification. It could have been my junior college intellect, my dyslexia, or my horrible attention span that forced me to put it down and never revisit. But, I have a strong feeling now that it was my ego, and an overwhelming feeling of inferiority that caused me to close it. Maybe I'll give it another whirl once I finish Dan Brown's next novel.

Luckily, Mr. Friedman is back from his recent book tour and writing nice, palatable op-ed pieces for the NY Times once again. Click here for an interesting read. (subscription required) (but it's free) (so subscribe) (dummy)

Kill Whitey Collar Criminals!

2004-09-14T13:08:00.000-07:00

Now, I've always struggled with a strong opinion on the death penalty. One thing I do know is that I should definitely have one. Thus far, it just has not been crystal clear to me. Do I believe that serial killers have a right to breathe the same air as my future child, no? But i DO believe that nurture plays a bigger role than nature in the development of people. So, there's that.

So many questions...so few answers. I guess it's the Libra in me that wont allow my scale to tilt one way or the other.

Seems the Chinese government doesn't have that problem. Wowzers.

I doubt China will see any Enrons anytime soon. But ya know, in this world the amount of money one has equals that persons level of education, health and in some cases can determine a person's survival. People that siphon a bit of coin from a lot of people and pile it into a bulging bank account for the sake of ego alone should be spending a lot more time in prison than the ghetto child who decided that a joint or two might help them escape the harsh reality in which they live. They could be messing with someone's retirement fund or someone's life savings, all for what is a drop in the bucket for them. Now that I think about it...fuck those dudes.

scale tilted.

~buzz

The War on Poverty

2004-09-14T10:42:00.000-07:00

I recently got a subscritption to Newsweek magazine, mainly so that I could keep up wth Anna Quindlen's writings. Here is yet another great example of why.

A brave man

2004-08-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

This is a brave man. But why do i get the feeling that he was on the hunt himself that night...

I sure hope the smell of blood doesn't make him eat his dog.

Quote o' the day

2004-08-25T15:07:00.000-07:00

For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.
-Charles Bukowski

Cruel, unusual, and 100% funny.

2004-08-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

I will never take another picture the same way again.

hate is a strong word.

2004-08-10T11:14:00.000-07:00

I am a strong believer in a quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt, that "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."

Well, every now and again I fall into that last category of people.

I hate George W. Bush.

Here's reason #496

To my California Constituents

2004-07-29T10:30:00.000-07:00

and nomadic friends...

If you love me, you will vote. That didn't work, eh? Ok, vote or die!! Shit, P. Diddy already used that one. How about this: please vote? please? With sugar and whipped cream and a cherry and nuts and sprinkles on top?? I'm not saying: "vote for the obvs choice." Just vote. I dont care
who it is. I have absolutely no agenda here.

I don't know if Sean Combs is correct in saying that individuals that don't vote, perish, but I DO KNOW that every time a person doesn't vote, an angel loses his or her wings. For the angels, vote..please. You don't even have to forward this on to 5 other people..just fill out the form. It's as simple as that. So..I guess I was wrong before. I DO have an agenda. That agenda is to save the wings of innocent angels. If that is wrong, by god, I dont wanna be right.

In case some of you are in the dark, anytime you move residencies you have to re-register to vote. Since I know almost all of you have moved over the last few years, I figured I'd do my part to direct you to this extremely easy-to-use voter registration form. And please, dont thank me. It was nothing....really.

Much love and respect in the 0-4...

Your friend,

Captain Buzzkill

P.S. - Forward the link and I will personally give you a haircut. That's right...free of charge.

2004-07-27T00:23:00.000-07:00

Cause nobody loves it....

No fail

2004-07-27T00:09:00.000-07:00

Ok...I promised myself I would post every weekday. So..here is a lame, one-minute to midnight post with a picture of a t-shirt I made up.

Enjoy.

Do not eat at workstation.

2004-07-23T11:41:00.000-07:00

And do not put cheese in your computer. This could happen to you.

Coca-Cola is evil

2004-07-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

I know, that is about as obvious a headline as the headline mentioned in my previous post. However, the movie The Corporation brought up an interesting fact about Coca-Cola that I hadn't previously known. During World War II, the Coca-Cola company had trouble exporting the special ingredients for its soft-drink to Nazi Germany, probably because of that whole genocide thing. So, to get around that whole Nazi/Genocide/ WWII thing and continue to make a profit, they created a new beverage that they could bottle at their factory in Germany with local ingredients. Coca-Cola GmbH, Inc. broke from their traditional recipe for Cola and created a new orange beverage, named Fanta. Wanna wanna, wanna Fanta?

Now, that was a long time ago and I was positive that this new age of corporate social responsibilty had had its affect on the Coca-Cola Company. I was wrong.

In 1999, Hindustan Coca-Cola opened up a new bottling facility in the middle of a draught-region in India. The Coca-Cola company took pride in its actions by "bringing industry to the area." Come on? It's one thing to advertise and sell your product to people in 3rd world countries who don't have enough money to buy food, shelter or birth-control, let alone a fashionable American sugary treat. It's another to drill deeper wells than anyone else, in an area that doesn't have enough water to satiate the needs of the people, for a small profit. Dear Mr. Cola: money = good, water = fucking better.

NEWS FLASH

2004-07-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

Another astounding news headline found on the drudge report today reads: "Report: 9/11 Terrorist Was Motivated by U.S. Support for Israel..." To quote one of my favorite comedians, David Cross - "I don't think Osama Bin Laden sent those planes in to attack us because he hated our freedom. I think he did it because of our support for Israel and our ties with the Saudi family, and all our military bases in Saudi Arabia. Ya know why I think that? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE FUCKING SAID."

We really are a nation of 6-year olds. I liken the knee-jerk reactions of our government after 9/11 to the reaction of an abused 3rd grader getting hit in the ear with a spitball.

The Corporation

2004-07-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

Ya know what can really sour a viewing of this movie? Working for one of the corporations that they "feature." The apathetic will have no interest in this film. However, to anyone who cares one lick about the state of world economics and the future health of our world (but ain't too keen on book-learnin) I highly recommend this movie. The movie is very long but so captivating that it's just about the right size for all of the information they feed you. I feel like the filmmakers could have gone on forever, but decided "ya know, 2.5 hours is probably all we can reasonably ask of our audience." Amen to that. Dress comfortably. A few sidenotes: F the family of yackers that sat behing me. And thanks to the movie geek from Comedy Central's 'beat the geek' for hookin me up with the freebie.

Seacrest.